As a 30 something year old I couldn’t imagine myself with a teenage child, yet alone a young adult child of say, 18 years, calling me mommy. I can’t even imagine a two year old (I assume that’s when a child can speak, i.e. string together sentences) calling me mommy. I still haven’t even gotten used to my age and often forget how old I am. In my mind, although I am a mature and responsible individual with a flourishing career and I’m in a committed relationship, I still cannot imagine having to parent a child of that age at this moment.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down anyone who is around my age and who has a grown child, not at all. I am simply expressing my feelings. I cannot imagine that situation to be my truth. On one hand though, I do sort of feel a little jealousy towards those mothers, that they will still be very young when their child(ren) flees the nest and they can still enjoy their lives. Whereas, on the other hand, I will have to parent any child I’m blessed with into my old age and, by the time the child is grown up I am closer to the grave (sorry to sound so morbid but its the truth).
However, there must be major benefits for having a child at a later stage in life. For example, you are likely to be in a more stable position in life, you most likely know what you want, are probably ready for a child and even if you aren’t and life surprises you, its not as disruptive or detrimental to you, your personal, educational and career growth. I cannot imagine the struggles a young mother goes through. It must be hard enough mothering a child much less, somewhat, missing out on your youth. Whilst your friends are at the movies, at college, attending the Summer festival or backpacking throughout Europe you are at home changing diapers and breastfeeding. Kudos to you though for sticking it out and not abandoning your child or your life. I see you as a strong person.
I guess I’m just speaking out loud because lately I am seeing more and more of my high school classmates wishing their young adult child happy 18th birthday or congratulating them on their graduation from high school and we’re not even (that) close to 40 years old yet. So it had me thinking about how I would feel if having an adult child was my truth. From the outside looking in I can’t imagine it. I do not feel that at my age I could be someone with a child that old. Albeit, if that was my truth I would know no other and I would probably not be able to imagine life as anything else and would completely embrace it but, the fact is, it’s not my truth and I can’t imagine it now.
What are your views, would you prefer to have a child at a younger or older age? If you had a child when you were younger, do you wish you had/could’ve waited? Did you have a child at an older age, did you wish you hadn’t waited to become a parent?